Once, I asked a guy friend of mine, ' What is flirting to you?'
And he answered, 'Oh flirting is just another interaction with the opposite sex... what matters is in the heart.'
The second part of the sentence brought out the cynical part of me, however, at that time, my classmate had started to give a presentation in class so I didn't say anything afterwards. Really, the heart, is it? And since human hearts are buried underneath layers of meat, arteries, capillaries and god-knows-what, I'm guessing, we'll never know, eh? Tough luck.
This is a sort of a reply to a friend. Not really a reply. Just some thoughts about it.
Players are born from heartbreaks.
Unless you can clean their history slate and past experience, there is no way - ABSOLUTELY NO WAY - you can change a person. People are egocentric, they won't change for anybody except for themselves. That's the cold hard truth but it doesn't make it less true, does it?
A player is a player. Even before you met him, he was already one. Changing that fact means you're changing the person who he already is. Years and years of experience made him what he is today. Like a permanent scar. A trait. A tattoo, whatever. He was already like that. This is just another part of him you have just discovered.
And I have to say this, I really hate it when I get it wrong about a guy. Hate hate HATE. You know why? Because when girls fall in love - love, lust, like, it gets confusing - most of us put the guy up on a freaking pedestal. Oh god, he's so smart, so cute, so amazingly amazing bla bla bla. And suddenly - reality crashes in - he's NOT so amazing after all. In fact, he's horrible. A prick. A complete asshole. Suddenly, your perspective about him changed overnight.
Then, you start thinking, Oh god, how dare he made me fall in love with him! How dare he made me believe that this is more than nothing! How - dare - HE.
Trust me, I've gone down that road one too many times. Up to the point, there is no romance left, just science and rules and regulations. Love at first sight? Romantic but c'mon! Love at many sights? Keep talking. Days? Yeah right. Weeks? Not quite enough. Months? Hmm, now that makes sense. See? Science, rules and regulations. It takes more to believe these days.
Heartbreak.
What do I mean by heartbreak?
Crash and burn. A complete total disaster. A fairy tale gone bad. Half of your brain went on comatose. Your heart isn't just an organ anymore - it's a separate living thing. Everything affects you - the weather, tv, random people off the streets etc.
It's when you couldn't stop crying.
It's when you cry because you realised how long - and how painful - it had been when you first started crying.
And that's when you made a vow - to yourself, to the world, to everything and anything - that you will never ever feel this way again.
Never. Not ever. Forever happiness now.
I'm just here for the happiness, you say. I'll stay long enough for you to fall in love with me, long enough for me to feel your attention and adoration, long enough for you to waste your time on me. But I will not stay long enough for me to be hurt. I will not stay long enough for me to be lied to.
I will not stay because I don't want to believe there is a reason for me to stay.
I will not stay because I was not the person I used to be.
I'm not that pathetic piece of crap anymore.
I'm the NEW me.
A permanent scar, a trait, a tattoo.
And that my friends, is how players are born.
xxx
Super old blog post. I was much more... colourful. haha. But I still think I'm right on this issue. Anybody out there disagrees with this?
August 2007. Kajang.
And he answered, 'Oh flirting is just another interaction with the opposite sex... what matters is in the heart.'
The second part of the sentence brought out the cynical part of me, however, at that time, my classmate had started to give a presentation in class so I didn't say anything afterwards. Really, the heart, is it? And since human hearts are buried underneath layers of meat, arteries, capillaries and god-knows-what, I'm guessing, we'll never know, eh? Tough luck.
This is a sort of a reply to a friend. Not really a reply. Just some thoughts about it.
Players are born from heartbreaks.
Unless you can clean their history slate and past experience, there is no way - ABSOLUTELY NO WAY - you can change a person. People are egocentric, they won't change for anybody except for themselves. That's the cold hard truth but it doesn't make it less true, does it?
A player is a player. Even before you met him, he was already one. Changing that fact means you're changing the person who he already is. Years and years of experience made him what he is today. Like a permanent scar. A trait. A tattoo, whatever. He was already like that. This is just another part of him you have just discovered.
And I have to say this, I really hate it when I get it wrong about a guy. Hate hate HATE. You know why? Because when girls fall in love - love, lust, like, it gets confusing - most of us put the guy up on a freaking pedestal. Oh god, he's so smart, so cute, so amazingly amazing bla bla bla. And suddenly - reality crashes in - he's NOT so amazing after all. In fact, he's horrible. A prick. A complete asshole. Suddenly, your perspective about him changed overnight.
Then, you start thinking, Oh god, how dare he made me fall in love with him! How dare he made me believe that this is more than nothing! How - dare - HE.
Trust me, I've gone down that road one too many times. Up to the point, there is no romance left, just science and rules and regulations. Love at first sight? Romantic but c'mon! Love at many sights? Keep talking. Days? Yeah right. Weeks? Not quite enough. Months? Hmm, now that makes sense. See? Science, rules and regulations. It takes more to believe these days.
Heartbreak.
What do I mean by heartbreak?
Crash and burn. A complete total disaster. A fairy tale gone bad. Half of your brain went on comatose. Your heart isn't just an organ anymore - it's a separate living thing. Everything affects you - the weather, tv, random people off the streets etc.
It's when you couldn't stop crying.
It's when you cry because you realised how long - and how painful - it had been when you first started crying.
And that's when you made a vow - to yourself, to the world, to everything and anything - that you will never ever feel this way again.
Never. Not ever. Forever happiness now.
I'm just here for the happiness, you say. I'll stay long enough for you to fall in love with me, long enough for me to feel your attention and adoration, long enough for you to waste your time on me. But I will not stay long enough for me to be hurt. I will not stay long enough for me to be lied to.
I will not stay because I don't want to believe there is a reason for me to stay.
I will not stay because I was not the person I used to be.
I'm not that pathetic piece of crap anymore.
I'm the NEW me.
A permanent scar, a trait, a tattoo.
And that my friends, is how players are born.
xxx
Super old blog post. I was much more... colourful. haha. But I still think I'm right on this issue. Anybody out there disagrees with this?
August 2007. Kajang.
